When I was at school our vice principal, who played rugby for Ulster, used to entertain us at Christmas concerts (much to the head master's chagrin) by singing the following totally irreverent song: ... and the best bit was that he also gave an extremely good imitation of being drunk!
Goliath of Gath, with hith helmet of brath,
Wath theated one day, upon the gween gwath,
When up jumped young David, a thervant of Thaul,
And thaid 'I will thmite thee, although I'm tho thmall.'
Young David then took thmooth thtoneth from the bwook
And fathioned a thing with pietheth of thtring.
He thkilfully thlung one and let the thtone fly
And caught old Goliath a thmack in the eye.
Goliath then thwore with might and with main,
'Blank blank blank blank blank' and 'blank blank' again.
He thwore till awound him the thky wath quite blue.
He thwore all the old oneth and made up thome new.
Then David thtepped up and dwew out hith thord
As Goiliath gathped upon the gween thward.
He thtood on hith thoracth and cut off hith head,
And all Ithrael thouted 'Goliath ith dead.'
Sung to the tune of 'O worship the King' (Hanover).
- dr. adder
- Newtownabbey, Ireland
- "You wanna know what's wrong with religion? Religion is supposed to be about people being nice to each other, but frankly I don't see a lot of that. You know what I do see is, I see, a lot of people using the good book to say that they're morally superior. I see people building TV stations to bilk grandma out of her pension checks, all in the name of God. How about all those God-fearing people who are killing other God-fearing people because they don't fear God the same way?" - Dr. John Becker