An executive was in a bind, because he had to get rid of one member of his staff.
He had narrowed it down to two people: Mary and Jack.
The decision was hard to make as they were both equally senior, equally qualified, and both did excellent work.
He finally decided that whoever used the water cooler first would be let go.
Mary came in the next day and was dreadfully hungover - she had really been partying the night before. She went over to the cooler to get some water, so she could take some aspirin, when the executive approached her and said, "Mary, I have never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
Mary replied, "I'm sorry, boss, but I've got a terrible headache."