When I was at school our vice principal, who played rugby for Ulster, used to entertain us at Christmas concerts (much to the head master's chagrin) by singing the following totally irreverent song: ... and the best bit was that he also gave an extremely good imitation of being drunk!
Goliath of Gath, with hith helmet of brath,
Wath theated one day, upon the gween gwath,
When up jumped young David, a thervant of Thaul,
And thaid 'I will thmite thee, although I'm tho thmall.'
Young David then took thmooth thtoneth from the bwook
And fathioned a thing with pietheth of thtring.
He thkilfully thlung one and let the thtone fly
And caught old Goliath a thmack in the eye.
Goliath then thwore with might and with main,
'Blank blank blank blank blank' and 'blank blank' again.
He thwore till awound him the thky wath quite blue.
He thwore all the old oneth and made up thome new.
Then David thtepped up and dwew out hith thord
As Goiliath gathped upon the gween thward.
He thtood on hith thoracth and cut off hith head,
And all Ithrael thouted 'Goliath ith dead.'
Sung to the tune of 'O worship the King' (Hanover).