The Newsletter For Displaced Aliens.
- Oon-Alraha and his Mighty Incarks won the Biped Soccer tournament 12-3 against the Not-Men. "Beckham next", boomed the victor at the post-game weenie roast.
- Something spent all night of the 4th whispering into the radio telescope at Arecibo in Puerto Rico. We'd like to remind all of you who speak in radio frequencies that humans haven't yet figured out that we're here and we'd like to keep it that way. So knock it off, huh?
- Yes, it's true. Frini-Kili-Uba from Wolff's won one of the three top Oscars at the Academy Awards Ceremony. (We'll let you guess which one). Uba's hilarious human impersonations have entertained many of us at her exclusive Wolff parties. Over a billion humans reportedly watched the Awards and no-one was the wiser. Congratulations, Uba!
- This Zeepsday, the popular, fun-loving Fijans from Aldebaran will be raffling off their blue Thrinjistan. The event is scheduled for midnight at the base of the Arizona crater. (Yes, Krastikka, we know it's not a crater. Just keep it to yourself). "We're trying to raise credits for the poor Centauri budlings", Pillja Fijan said. "It's a good cause. We hope you'll slither on over."
- SPECIAL NOTICE: The annual iguana fest on Galapagos Island has been postponed until next month, after the Strithinitals from Tau Ceti leave. It seems they're descended from creatures amazingly similar to the iguanas. Ik and Ichi, our apologies.
