TV game show cheat Major Charles Ingram came close to tears yesterday after he was convicted of assaulting a boy who coughed in his face.
He was found guilty even though the 13-year-old admitted in court that he had 'made up' a lot of his evidence.
During the trial, Ingram said: 'Every time I go out someone coughs in my vicinity. It happens hundreds of times. I can be watching TV and comedians like Jasper Carrott can cough and I know it's directed at me because he's a director of Celador [the production company which makes Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?].
'Or a minister in Parliament coughs, and it's recorded in Hansard, or an easyJet pilot coughs.'
All these coughs were jokes at his expense, he said.
YOU AT THE BACK! - stop clearing your throat!